rhymes with "ouble enetration"
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize