Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
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