you would pick up someone in the library
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
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