i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
Randomize
