Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
Randomize
