NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
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