I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
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