my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize