Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
Randomize
