I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
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