So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
just come out here and I will go home with you...
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
Randomize
