I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
