My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
Randomize
