I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
Randomize
