Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
Randomize
