we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
