Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
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