So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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