One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Randomize
