I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
