the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
Randomize
