Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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