this beer tastes like vomit already
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
