So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Randomize
