Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
