Don't you send me to vm
Please, let me fuck your mom
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
