Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
Swine flu is the new snow day.
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
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