He had one of those small greek statue penises
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
Randomize
