woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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