the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
Randomize
