can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Randomize
