dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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