you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
Ladies don't puke and tell
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
Randomize
