Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
Randomize
