So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Randomize
