at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
I just googled if crying burns calories
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Randomize