Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
