i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Randomize
