I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
the gays at disneyland are vicious
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
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