I heard we made out
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
Randomize
