Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
Randomize
