she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
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