did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
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