like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
