so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
Randomize