So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
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