I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
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