she looked like the bat from fern gully.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
I have already put on my inside pants.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
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