Heybabeimwearingurpanties
i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
Randomize
