Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
