just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Randomize
