mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
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