Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Randomize
