Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(817): View more from Texas

I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!

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(510): View more from California

I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.

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(404): View more from Georgia

Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags

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(478): View more from Georgia

how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?

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(917): View more from New York City

Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.

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(319): View more from Iowa

As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.

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(609): View more from New Jersey

I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch

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(518): View more from New York

I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage

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(631): View more from New York

I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE

(1-631): View more from New York

put it back and chill out ok

(631): View more from New York

NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY

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