Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
Randomize
