he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
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