For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
