somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
I believe in your delicious
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
Randomize
