I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
and i looked up. we had an audience...
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Randomize
