In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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