I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
May the power of my ass compel you!!
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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