"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Randomize
