butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
Randomize
