I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
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