ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
