this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
Houston, we have a squirter
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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