My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
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