Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
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