okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
