At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Randomize
