Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
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