I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
Randomize
