Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
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