You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
