Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
I need to start dating older women. We tried sexting and she used more emojis than actual words. It was so bad that I did the math...her messages were 54% emoji. No one should make me feel this old when I'm only 28.
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