I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
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