i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
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