well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Randomize
