Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
What changed your mind?
Being sober
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize