It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
Randomize
