CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Randomize
