Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Randomize
