Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
No more Irish car bombs ever.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Randomize
