If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Randomize
