i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
Randomize
